Ep. 82 Hiding Your Drinking: Lauren’s Journey From Mommy Wine Culture to Freedom

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Unmasking the Mommy Wine Culture: Finding Freedom and Fulfillment Without Alcohol

The Hidden Reality Behind Closed Doors

At first glance, many women appear to have it all together—balancing work, family, and friendships with effortless grace. But for countless mothers, the pressures of daily life are quietly numbed with a glass (or three) of wine, especially in the name of self-care or camaraderie. In a recent episode of the Sober & Lit Podcast, guest Lauren O'Hanlon, a certified life coach and ex-bartender, joined hosts Ruby and Susan to shed light on her journey out of hidden drinking and into clarity—illuminating the rarely discussed challenges embedded in what’s come to be known as the “mommy wine culture.”

The Normalization of Drinking Among Mothers

Mommy wine culture has become woven into the fabric of modern motherhood. From “mamacita needs a margarita” tank tops to social media jokes about wine being the only way to survive t-ball practice, drinking is not only normalized—it’s celebrated. In Lauren’s experience, school pick-ups, playdates, and even afternoons at the playground regularly involved covert sips from insulated cups. “It was like my badge of survival,” she shares, explaining how she and fellow moms would bring bottles or sneak drinks into their daily routines, rarely raising eyebrows.

This normalization can create a powerful illusion—making it easy for mothers to believe their drinking is unproblematic, especially when everyone around them is doing the same. “Drinking a whole bottle of wine a night? That’s just what moms do,” reflects Ruby, underscoring just how deeply this behavior is ingrained.

The Double Life: Why Women Hide Their Drinking

Yet behind the closed doors of seemingly “together” lives, many women struggle with shame, secrecy, and escalating dependency. Lauren recounts hiding bottles in closets, in bathroom cabinets—anywhere her husband (or anyone else) might not look. For her, the secrecy was rooted in not wanting others to know how much alcohol had taken over her daily existence: “I didn’t want my husband to know how much I was drinking. I wanted him to think I had just started when he walked in the door.”

As tolerance increases—something Lauren, as a former bartender, knows well—the line between casual drinking and dependence blurs, leading women deeper into patterns they never intended. The fear of being discovered becomes a stressor in itself, compounding the cycle of using alcohol to “cope” with unhappiness, stress, or marital strain.

The Turning Point: Getting Curious, Not Judgmental

For Lauren, change began when she grew curious about her relationship with alcohol, moving away from judgment and toward self-compassion. “I realized I was using alcohol to cope—not just for fun.” She started to listen to resources like Annie Grace’s "This Naked Mind" podcast, learning about the real harm alcohol can do: its role in depression, anxiety, and even cancer risk.

Awareness was a powerful tool—not an overnight fix, but a catalyst for transformation. “If I wanted to make big life decisions—like whether to stay in my marriage—I needed to be clear-headed,” she explains. The desire for presence and authenticity, rather than numbing, became a guiding star.

Social Shifts and Support: Life After Alcohol

The journey to an alcohol-free life often comes with fears about social isolation or losing friendships, particularly when much of socializing revolves around drinking. For both Lauren and the podcast hosts, these worries gradually faded with time and honesty. “I was surprised how accepting my friends were,” Lauren admits. While some activities changed (no more late bar nights or wine tastings), the core relationships often remained—or improved.

In place of drinking, Lauren discovered new fulfilling rituals: Sunday softball instead of mimosas, crafting, running, and, most importantly, being truly present with her children. The joy of experiences no longer dulled by alcohol became more than enough reward.

Challenging the Narrative and Creating Change

Confronting mommy wine culture isn’t about shame or “perfect” abstinence—it’s about giving women permission to question a narrative that equates drinking with self-care, survival, and identity. As scientific evidence grows about the true health risks of alcohol—especially for women—it’s never been more important to have real conversations.

If you’re wondering if you could ever enjoy life without alcohol, Lauren’s story is proof: not only is it possible, but it’s also liberating. “A whole world opened up when I removed booze,” she says. The first step? Reach for curiosity and compassion instead of criticism. Know you’re not alone, and that freedom is waiting on the other side of the glass.
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Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

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