Ep. 88 The Surprising Truth: Are Sober People Really Missing Out on All the Fun?

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From FOMO to JOMO: Reframing the Myth of Deprivation in Alcohol-Free Living

Introduction: Challenging the Sober Myth

For many contemplating or embarking on an alcohol-free journey, the pervasive myth lingers: sober people are deprived. The belief runs deep that fun, relaxation, camaraderie, and connection will vanish without alcohol. This sense of “fear of missing out” (FOMO) can feel like a huge barrier—one intensified by cultural conditioning and the highlight reels served up on social media. But what if the truth is, in fact, the opposite? What if joy actually expands in an alcohol-free life?

What Is FOMO, and Why Does It Strike So Hard?

The fear of missing out, or FOMO, is that anxious feeling that everyone else is having more fun or deeper connections, especially when drinking is involved. Rooted in cultural messaging and nearly omnipresent marketing from the alcohol industry, it’s no wonder many of us internalize the idea that alcohol equals enjoyment. Social media amplifies this, offering glamorous snapshots of parties, dinners, and vacations—while conveniently cropping out the hangovers, regret, and uncomfortable realities that often follow.

For years, both Ruby and Susan (hosts of the Feel It Alcohol Free podcast) described feeling chained to the belief that life’s joy hinged on a full glass. From celebrations to quiet nights out, alcohol seemed inseparable from the moments that made life special. That attachment kept many—maybe you included—trapped in a loop of drinking, despite knowing it wasn’t serving them.

Turning FOMO Inside Out: What Are We Really Missing Out On?

A pivotal shift can occur when reframing what “missing out” truly means. As Susan shares, the question isn’t, “What am I missing by not drinking?” but rather, “What do I miss out on when I do drink?” For those questioning their relationship with alcohol, this can be an eye-opening experiment.

When alcohol is the center of social activities, it often eclipses genuine connection, self-care, and the kinds of memories that linger. The first hour of drinking might feel vibrant—sparkling glasses, laughter—but as the evening unfolds, the veil of intoxication can dull conversation, hinder deep listening, and sometimes shift personalities. Over time, the idea that alcohol guarantees fun is revealed as clever marketing rather than truth.

Experiencing these “friggin first times” (going to a party or dinner sober, navigating the holidays alcohol-free) may feel awkward initially. But as Ruby describes, over time, these moments accumulate into authentic, lasting memories, and a new, stronger foundation for fun and friendship is laid.

Introducing JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out

Enter JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out. Rather than focusing on perceived loss, JOMO celebrates the genuine gains of alcohol-free living.

JOMO is the easy confidence of recalling every detail from a night out. It’s savoring restful sleep, waking up energized, and leaning into self-care—rather than regret or needing to “detox” from vacations. JOMO is being present for laughter, connection, and even awkwardness, letting those experiences build resilience and genuine connection. It’s freedom from worrying about DUIs or hangxiety, and the delight of showing up for yourself, day after day.

Social media and self-image can also shift. By curating your feeds to include inspiring sober voices, or “quit lit” memoirs like *We Are the Luckiest* by Laura McKowen, *The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober* by Catherine Gray, or *The Sober Lush*, you’re actively deprogramming the messages that kept you stuck.

Building a Lush, Connected, Alcohol-Free Life

True connection isn’t written into the bottom of a bottle. The deeper bonds and real belly laughs emerge as you become fully present with others, no longer filtered by alcohol’s effects. If certain friendships were built solely on drinking, it’s natural for them to shift—with space now for richer, more fulfilling relationships.

Self-care practices, like the Five Tibetan Rites or other forms of movement and mindfulness, complement this journey by nurturing both body and mind. Far from deprivation, the alcohol-free path often reveals unexpected joy, health, and beauty—like seeing the world in technicolor after years of living in black and white.

Conclusion: Embrace the Shift

Shedding the myth of deprivation makes space for authentic joy. Whether through cultivating new routines, seeking connection in vibrant communities, or simply waking up refreshed, the shift from FOMO to JOMO is a courageous, liberating leap. Remember: you’re not alone, and the joy of missing out might just become the greatest gift of your alcohol-free journey.
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Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
Email: [email protected]

Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/WineFreeWeekend