What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Drinking with Anna Donaghey / EP 105

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Have you ever felt like your life is not good enough?

Breaking Free from the Normalization of Drinking

It's so easy, in a world that glamorizes drinking, to slide into patterns that feel normal—at least on the surface. Coach Ruby, Coach Susan, and special guest Anna Donaghey, author and certified alcohol mindset coach, dive deep in their recent conversation on the *Sober and Lit* podcast. They unravel not just the reasons why many of us drink, but more importantly, what we are *really* seeking when we reach for another glass.

The Seduction of Fitting In: How Drinking Becomes Part of Our Identity

From rebellious teenage sips to after-work drinks in the advertising world, Anna Donaghey shares how drinking effortlessly embedded itself into her life and career. For Anna Donaghey, alcohol was much more than a beverage—it was a social lubricant, a badge of belonging, and a chameleon skill that helped her slide into new environments and relationships. As Coach Susan reflected, so many of us drink “to fit in,” absorbing the normalization of alcohol until it quietly becomes part of who we are.

But the danger lies in how silently that identity forms. Anna Donaghey explained:  "It was only when I stopped working in such boozy environments and stepped into a different lifestyle that my drinking began to stand out—and not everyone around me was doing it anymore.”

The Tipping Point: When “Normal” Isn’t Good Enough

A recurring theme in their conversation is that you don’t need to hit rock bottom to recognize a problem. For Anna Donaghey, the wake-up call didn’t come from dramatic external consequences. Instead, it was the slow realization that alcohol had quietly taken on too central a role—masking emotions, creating secrets, and keeping her in a state of exhaustion and disconnection.

She encourages asking: Is my life good enough?  

Sometimes, the fact that you’re asking is reason enough to explore your relationship with alcohol.

As Coach Susan so vulnerably shared, “I wish I’d had a book like this back in 2013 when all I had was the all-or-nothing option of AA, when my drinking wasn’t ‘severe enough’ but didn’t feel right. Now, thankfully, the conversation is changing.”

What Are You Really Thirsty For? Uncovering the Needs Behind Drinking

At the heart of Anna Donaghey's approach (and her forthcoming book *What Are You Thirsty For?*) is a simple yet radical reframing: Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what you *want*. Most of us have quietly outsourced our confidence, stress relief, social ease, or creativity to alcohol. But Anna Donaghey challenges us to explore: What need am I trying to fill? What is the feeling or experience I hope this drink will provide?

She writes, “If we become more aware of what we’re really thirsty for—connection, validation, rest, excitement—we can start learning healthier, sustainable ways to quench those thirsts. The less we need alcohol to fill the gaps, the less role it plays in our lives.”

From Routine to Renewal: Redesigning Your Life, One Choice at a Time

So, how do you break free? Anna Donaghey and the hosts agree: Start small. Begin by honestly asking if your life feels as rich, free, and joyful as you want it to be. There’s no need for grand gestures. Instead, commit to tiny steps—be it taking one night off, journaling your feelings, or trying something new each month that you wouldn’t have done while drinking.

This incremental, compassionate approach is at the core of Anna Donaghey’s message. As she put it, “Not drinking isn’t a destination—it’s a gateway. It opens up new possibilities, rediscovered passions, and space to become who you truly want to be.”

Is Your Life Good Enough—Or Could It Be Great? What are you thirsty for?

As you reflect on your own story, remember: comparison helps no one. It isn’t about how much you drink, but whether alcohol is getting in the way of the life you want. The question isn’t, “Do I have a drinking problem?”  

The question is: “Is my life good enough, or could it be even greater without alcohol running the show?”  

Maybe it’s time to listen to what you’re truly thirsty for—and design a life that quenches that thirst, one inspired, alcohol-free step at a time.
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Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
Email: [email protected]
 
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