Staying Sober at Christmas: Real-Life Tips / EP 102

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How to Stay True to Your Alcohol-Free Intentions and Thrive at Family Gatherings

The holidays are a time of celebration, connection, and—for many—stress and overwhelm. From the glow of Christmas lights to the last night of Hanukkah, these occasions often come bundled with traditions, expectations, and, quite frequently, alcohol. For anyone committed to an alcohol-free lifestyle, stepping into a holiday event where drinks are flowing can feel lonely and daunting. In this blog post, inspired by Episode 102 of the Sober & Lit Podcast with Ruby and Susan, we’ll explore practical ways to protect your peace, strengthen your resolve, and find genuine connection during the festive season.

Understanding Your Inner Dialogue

Walking into a room buzzing with celebration, laughter, and clinking glasses can easily set off an intense inner dialogue. Ruby reminds us that our minds are wired for survival, often prompting us to follow the “tribe.” Historically, being different from the group—like not drinking when everyone else is—could mean being left out. Even though we’re no longer hunter-gatherers, those old patterns persist.

Awareness is key. When you catch yourself thinking “I’m the only one not drinking,” pause and ask: Is that actually true? Susan shared her story of realizing, at a family dinner, that her assumption wasn’t accurate—her dad and several others weren’t drinking either. By challenging your thoughts and recognizing them for what they are—just thoughts, not facts—you can start to reframe your experience.

Practical Tip: When the voice in your head feels overwhelming, try to physically shift your attention: get up, clear some dishes, or step outside for a breath of fresh air. Disrupting the loop can settle the mind.

Tools for Staying Present and Grounded

Ruby shares that preparation is powerful. Before heading to an event, set an intention. Why are you choosing an alcohol-free holiday? Is it to be present with your loved ones? To wake up clear-headed and energized? Write your “why” on a card or carry a grounding object, like a bracelet or a small stone, to remind you in triggering moments.

Ruby recommends getting to gatherings early to ease into the environment and reduce overwhelm. She also suggests having “go-to” questions in mind to spark meaningful conversation: “What was your favorite moment this year?” or “What are you looking forward to next year?” Connecting one-on-one helps shift focus from what you’re not doing (drinking) to what you are: building real relationships.

If the group energy feels overwhelming, don’t be afraid to take breaks. Retreat to the bathroom for a breather, step outside, or invite a cousin for a quick walk. Sometimes, simply changing venues, even momentarily, can reset your mood.

Tactics for Thriving—Not Just Surviving

Intentionality is the thread that runs through every piece of advice from Ruby. Decide in advance that you’re staying alcohol-free. Share your intention with someone supportive. Visualize potential challenges and plan how you’ll respond: “What will I do if I feel left out? What can I do to connect instead?”

An essential—and simple—tip: always have an alcohol-free drink in hand. Whether it’s a sparkling water with lime or a NA mocktail, having your own festive beverage helps deflect questions and lets you participate fully.

Mantras and activating questions can direct your brain away from negative thought spirals. Try prompts like, “What do I need to believe to feel how I want to feel?” or “How can I create more connection in this moment?” By steering your focus, you empower yourself to create the experience you truly want.

Connection Is the Ultimate Reward

At the heart of every holiday is the potential for genuine connection. Ruby shares the poignant reflection that the greatest regret isn’t missing a drink—it’s missing real, meaningful moments with family. Hugging intentionally (even trying a “heart hug”), asking thoughtful questions, and being present are gifts you give not just to others, but to yourself.

You don’t have to weather the holiday storm alone or white-knuckle your way through. With preparation, self-compassion, and intentional connection, the holidays can become a time of pride, joy, and deep fulfillment. “Living alcohol-free is living intentionally—and that’s a beautiful thing.”

✨ Wishing you a holiday season full of peace, joy, and true connection.
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Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
Email: [email protected]
 

Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/WineFreeWeekend