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You Love Wine... But Does Alcohol Love You Back?

What if your relationship with wine has more in common with a toxic romance than you realize?

“I love wine.”

How many times have you said it?

I know I did.

I loved Pinot Noir. I loved wine time. I loved the ritual at the end of the day.

But recently I started playing with an interesting question:

What if alcohol were a person?

Would you still call this a healthy relationship?

Because when we looked at our drinking through that lens, something became very clear.

Alcohol and a toxic romance can have an awful lot in common.

It Starts With the Honeymoon

Most difficult relationships with alcohol don't begin difficult.

Alcohol can start as fun.

Celebration. Connection. Sophistication. Reward.

Alcohol makes us feel like a sophisticated “woman of the world.” I remember genuinely saying, “I love wine.”

And that's interesting.

Because love is a powerful word to use for liquid in a bottle.

But of course, we aren't really falling in love with liquid.

We're falling in love with what we believe it gives us.

Then the Relationship Changes

For me, wine became something different after my son left for college.

I was an empty nester. I was lonely. I had gained weight and wasn't feeling particularly confident.

Evening wine became company.

For someone else, alcohol might become the answer to anxiety, stress, exhaustion, burnout or simply wanting to turn down the volume at the end of the day.

Somewhere along the way, celebration becomes coping.

And we may not even notice when it happens.

We Start Making Excuses

Imagine a partner who repeatedly:

Wrecked your sleep.

Made you feel anxious.

Left you foggy in the morning.

Caused you to behave in ways you regretted.

And made you feel physically awful.

Would you call that self-care?

Probably not.

Yet with alcohol, we make excuses.

“I didn't eat enough.”

“I'm getting older.”

“I've been stressed.”

“This is my one vice.”

I realized how many passes we gave alcohol rather than questioning whether alcohol itself was the problem.

The Most Important Question: What Does Alcohol Do For You?

Here's where I want you to get curious rather than judgmental.

If wine has become your evening companion, don't just rip it away and tell yourself you shouldn't want it.

Ask:

What job have I given alcohol?

Does it provide comfort?

Company?

Escape?

Reward?

A transition from work to home?

A way to numb loneliness?

That's incredibly useful information.

Because once we understand the need, we can find ways to meet that need that actually nourish us.

Try This: Write Alcohol a Breakup Letter

This is an exercise I use with clients.

Imagine alcohol is an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and write it a letter.

Start with:

Dear Alcohol...

I remember when we first met...

I loved how you made me feel...

Then things started to change...

I kept coming back because...

What you've cost me is...

What I want now is...

And today I'm choosing...

Don't worry about making it pretty.

Tell the truth.

One client had experienced a toxic marriage, and viewing alcohol through the same lens made something click: she wouldn't return to that husband, so why would she keep returning to this relationship?

Maybe the Real Love Story Is You

This is the part I love.

Breaking up with alcohol doesn't leave a giant hole where your life used to be.

You begin building relationships with things that actually give back.

Sleep.

Movement.

Connection.

Nature.

Purpose.

Joy.

And most importantly...

Yourself.

Because healthy love doesn't just take.

Alcohol eventually does.

So perhaps the question isn't:

“How can I make myself stop loving wine?”

Maybe it's:

“What would happen if I started loving myself more?”
________

🧡 Book a clarity call with me and let's chat: https://calendly.com/williams-ruby/discovery-call

Website for Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/

Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
🧡 Email: [email protected]

 Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/WineFreeWeekend