The Part of Sobriety We Don't Talk About Enough / EP 137
Aug 26, 2026
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The messy middle of alcohol freedom... why cravings, hard days, and even a “data point” don’t mean you’re going backward.
You quit drinking.
The first few weeks felt exciting. You were sleeping better, waking up clear-headed, feeling proud, maybe even riding that famous “pink cloud.”
Then something changed.
Life became... life again.
Work got stressful. Someone hurt your feelings. You felt lonely or bored. Maybe a craving for alcohol appeared out of nowhere.
And suddenly you wondered:
“Why is this still hard?”
“Shouldn’t I be over this by now?”
“Is sobriety even working?”
Welcome to what we call the messy middle.
And here's what we want you to know...
This part matters.
When the Novelty of Sobriety Wears Off
Early sobriety comes with milestones.
Day 1.
One week.
30 days.
100 days.
There can be excitement around each accomplishment. But eventually, not drinking stops feeling new.
There may be no applause for getting through an ordinary Tuesday without wine.
And that's when alcohol freedom can start feeling less like a transformation and more like... regular life.
The messy middle can be described as the “construction site.”
It isn't a detour from your alcohol-free journey.
It’s where resilience is actually being built.
Celebrate the Reps, Not Just the Days
We love celebrating alcohol-free day counts.
But what if we also celebrated the reps?
You had a terrible day at work... and didn't drink.
Rep.
You felt lonely... and called someone instead.
Rep.
You had a difficult conversation... and sat with your emotions instead of numbing them.
Rep.
Every time you experience a trigger and choose something other than alcohol, you're strengthening a new response.
That's progress worth celebrating.
What If You Drink Again?
One of the most dangerous thoughts after drinking is:
“Well, I blew it.”
That thought can quickly become:
“I might as well keep drinking.”
I experienced this myself around six months into my alcohol-free journey.
I drank.
But instead of deciding I'd erased six months of progress, I treated what happened as information... a data point.
What happened?
What could I learn?
What would I do differently next time?
And the next day, I continued forward.
I didn't go back to the bottom of the mountain.
I kept climbing.
Don't Let Shame Make You Disappear
One of the stories we share in this episode is about a coaching client who experienced several data points.
She felt embarrassed.
She wanted to cancel her coaching session.
But she showed up.
And that mattered.
Because the moment you most want to disappear can be the moment you most need connection.
You don't have to show up perfectly.
Show up honestly.
Let someone help you understand what happened and decide what comes next.
There Is No Finish Line
One of my favorite things about alcohol freedom is realizing that eventually, you're no longer simply learning how not to drink.
You're learning how to live.
There isn't a magical finish line where difficult emotions disappear forever.
Life will still contain stress, grief, conflict, boredom, disappointment, and unexpected triggers.
The difference is that you’re building tools to experience those things without automatically using alcohol to escape them.
So if you're in the messy middle today...
Keep going.
Celebrate the reps.
Ask for support.
And remember:
You haven't wandered off the path.
You may be standing right in the part where your new life is being built.
🧡 If you are struggling in the messy middle or you went back to drinking and want help getting AF again, book a clarity call with me, Coach Ruby, and let's chat: https://calendly.com/williams-ruby/discovery-call
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Website for Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/
Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
🧡 Email: [email protected]
Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/WineFreeWeekend
