Mastering Drinking Urges / EP 108
Feb 03, 2026
Listen to the PODCAST Here
Watch the Podcast on YouTube Here 
Breaking the Habit Loop: How to Overcome Drinking Urges and Reclaim Your Agency
Struggling with automatic drinking habits? Discover why those relentless 5pm cravings strike, how to demystify your habit loop, and actionable strategies to interrupt the cycle and build new, healthier routines.
Understanding the Automatic Drinking Urge
Why is it that you wake up swearing, "Today I will not drink," only to find yourself pouring a glass at 5pm? This cycle can feel almost mystical, like getting hit by a Mack truck out of the blue. For many, it’s an experience of feeling out of control, as if the urge to drink is something that “just happens” to them, regardless of their intentions.
But as discussed in this episode of the Sober and Lit Podcast, this repeated pattern is not a failure of willpower or discipline—it's the result of neurological habit loops and reward patterns that have been reinforced over time. Understanding what’s really happening beneath the surface is the first step toward breaking free.
The Anatomy of a Habit Loop
The cycle of drinking often begins with a cue or trigger, something in your environment, your routine, or your emotional state. This could be anything from the time of day, walking in the door after work, to feeling stressed, lonely, or just looking for a way to unwind.
Coach Ruby describes her own experience: vowing not to drink in the morning, only to find herself on autopilot by the afternoon after a stressful day. For many, it’s like being on "autopilot," repeating patterns so ingrained they feel almost robotic. Part of breaking this loop is first identifying those cues and triggers—what, exactly, prompts the urge?
Alcohol is especially powerful in forming habit loops because it delivers a high dose of dopamine, our brain’s reward chemical. This creates a “reward path” where the brain learns, often unconsciously, that drinking relieves stress or discomfort—at least temporarily. Over time, this pattern is so grooved into our neural circuits it becomes the default response to certain triggers.
Why Willpower Isn’t the Solution
If you find yourself wrestling with your keys, telling yourself not to drive to the liquor store—even as you’re driving there—you’re not alone. The joke Coach Ruby shares about yelling at herself internally, feeling like two people, captures the very real struggle of battling urges that feel out of your conscious control.
Relying solely on willpower rarely works in the long run. Our brains are simply responding to withdrawal, cravings, and deeply patterned habits. Feeling hopeless and defeated the “morning after” is a common result—but it’s not a reflection of your worth or your abilities.
Instead, it’s about interrupting a well-worn habit loop with awareness, strategy, and self-compassion.
Building Awareness: The First Step to Change
Awareness is the first, most crucial step. When the urge hits, pause for a moment: “Oh, I’m having an urge to drink right now. I wonder what triggered it?” This curiosity flips the script, turning the urge into a data point—information you can use to understand yourself, rather than a sign of failure.
Coach Ruby stresses that collecting these data points helps you identify patterns. Was it walking in the door? Sitting down after work? A feeling of stress or loneliness? Once you know your cues, you can begin to plan new routines.
Strategies to Interrupt the Habit Loop
- Change Your Routine
If you usually unwind with a drink, try putting on your shoes and going for a walk as soon as you get home. Small routine changes—like taking a different route home to avoid the liquor store—can help interrupt the autopilot response.
- Nourish Your Body
Many afternoon cravings are tied to low blood sugar. Having a protein-rich snack around 4pm can blunt physical cravings and make the urge less powerful.
- Lean Into Pleasurable Alternatives
Replace drinking with other pleasurable activities: a bath, a favorite tea, a good book, or connecting with a friend. At first, these may not feel as rewarding due to dopamine imbalances, but over time, your brain recalibrates and begins to appreciate simple pleasures again.
- Surf the Urge
Use Susan's “Stop, Drop, and Roll” method:
– Stop and become aware of the urge
– Drop into your body and notice the sensations
– Roll through the discomfort—describe it, feel it without judgement, and let it peak and fade like a wave
This skill, which may feel impossible at first, becomes more natural and empowering with practice.
Self-Compassion and Support
Mistakes will happen; urges sometimes win. Coach Ruby encourages seeing each slip not as a failure but as an opportunity to learn: What triggered the urge? What could you try next time? This process, over time, atrophies the old patterns and builds new ones.
Working with a coach can be invaluable. Having someone to guide you, offer tools, and encourage experimentation can make all the difference.
Conclusion: You’re in Charge of Your Change
There’s nothing wrong with you for having developed these patterns—our culture, social cues, and biology all play a part. Breaking the drinking habit loop requires a combination of awareness, strategic action, and self-kindness.
The good news? Every time you pause, question, and try a new approach, you’re training your brain to respond differently and reclaiming your agency. Over time, that autopilot mode loses its grip—and a more vibrant, self-caring way of life begins to take its place.
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Website for Ruby Williams at Freedom Renegade Coaching https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/
Follow Coach Ruby: @rubywilliamscoaching
Email: [email protected]
Grab your copy of our FREE WineFree Weekend Guide to help you on your alcohol free journey. https://www.freedomrenegadecoaching.com/WineFreeWeekend
